Paige and Paxton's story: "Look at me, mum"

When Paige first called Kaikaranga, she was exhausted.   

Raising her four-year-old son Paxton on her own had become overwhelming. Paxton is autistic, and his needs were complex. He struggled with communication and emotional regulation, and when he felt overwhelmed, his behaviour could become intense.  

He would scream for long periods, punch walls and sometimes become aggressive with others or run away. Public outings became extremely challenging, and eventually Paige and Paxton were even asked not to return to some grocery stores. For Paige, it was heartbreaking. Paige was doing everything she could, but she felt alone and unsure where to turn. As a single mum navigating significant health challenges of her own, the pressure was immense.  

Even making the call to Kaikaranga was hard.  

The power of listening  

When she rang our contact centre, the call was answered by one of our friendly kaimahi (team member). A former emergency call taker with more than ten years’ experience, and someone with lived experience herself, our kaimahi understands how important those first conversations can be.  

“I’ve lived it myself,” our kaimahi says. “I understand what parents with disabled loved ones are going through.”  

At first, Paige found it difficult to open up. But our kaimahi approached the conversation with patience, calm and genuine care. Slowly, Paige began to share what was really happening at home.  

“For me, it’s important that people feel heard,” says our kaimahi. “We may not always be able to solve everything in that moment, but we can listen and help point people in the right direction.”  

As she listened, it became clear that Paige was under significant pressure and needed urgent support. Because Paige felt safe enough to speak honestly, the situation could be recognised as a crisis and escalated appropriately.  

“We deal with delicate situations every day,” our kaimahi reflects. “People’s lives are not easy. But we approach every call with respect and with the love of helping people.”  

A moment that mattered  

Our kaimahi was on the phone with Paige for about 45 minutes. After the call, Paige sent a message to our kaimahi.  

“Thank you for making me feel heard and that I matter. You helped me manage my emotions this morning… Your aroha was exactly what I needed. I was so fragile this morning. You listened to every word, comforted me and reassured me. You really filled my cup. Today you were my superhero.”  

Following that call, a referral was made for Explore Behaviour Support Services. Paige began working with professionals who helped her better understand Paxton’s needs and develop strategies to support him.  

A challenging road  

For a time, things improved.  

But progress was not always linear. Later that year, Paxton’s behaviour again became difficult to manage, and by September he had been removed from preschool.  

When it came time for Paxton to start school at age five, the local school declined enrolment.  

With guidance from specialists working with the family, Paige explored other options and was encouraged to try a smaller school called Ararimu. It’s a school outside their zone with around 90 students.  

Paxton attended observation visits and, to Paige’s relief, Ararimu saw something special in him. They believed he would be a good fit. Paxton settled in quickly and began to thrive. The inclusive, supportive school community turned out to be exactly what he needed.