A journey of love
and adaptation
For Judge's family, adaptability is the guiding principle in managing his disability.
Judge, 23, is of Māori (Ngāti Whatua Ki Kaipara, Ngāti Pikiao & Te Rarawa), Samoan, and European descent. Born and raised in Aotearoa New Zealand, he’s the middle child of seven tamariki and a bundle of energy and enthusiasm. Judge was born with Down syndrome and several other health conditions, making his journey one of unique challenges and triumphs.
From day one, Judge faced a whirlwind of medical tests, treatments, and surgeries. “Every day is a challenge,” says his mum. “It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, from the antics and struggles to the happy and laughable moments.” As a young parent, hearing that her baby has Down syndrome was a huge shock. “I had no idea how to care for such a medically fragile baby. It was a lonely time, feeling lost and mourning the loss of the baby I thought I was having.”
Not long after Judge was born, a referral was sent to Kaikaranga for disability supports. “The process was simple,” his mum recalls. “We had contact from Kaikaranga, a home visit with the assessor, and then confirmation from the service coordinator about the supports we would receive.”
Navigating new chapters
“Our goal at the time was learning to navigate this new chapter in our lives,” she explains. “We wanted Judge to have as typical a life as possible, but we had to accept that his unique needs meant our version of ‘normal’ wouldn’t be the same for him.” Judge is caught between two sides of himself right now. On one hand, he’s dreaming of being a ninja spy, which shows off his playful imagination. On the other, he’s noticing what other young adults are up to—socialising, working, and traveling—which is making him more aware of the experiences that come with growing up.
Judge’s goals continue to evolve based on his needs and aspirations. “As he entered his early teens, we learned the importance of expanding his support network outside the whānau to avoid dependency and unintentional isolation from his community,” his mum shares. Disability funding has been crucial in ensuring his needs are met, providing support workers from outside the whānau and offering peace of mind for mum.
Judge now enjoys social activities with his peers, such as pig hunting, bowling, swimming, and horse riding. “What he enjoyed most was not having Mum there embarrassing him!” his mum laughs. “His support worker helps him engage socially in a positive and fun way.”
The biggest change in Judge’s life has been learning to accept changes, such as friends growing and maturing. “He’s learning that although he may like to be Peter Pan with no rules, there are rules as he progresses into adulthood.”
Advice for other parents
Working as a support facilitator for Kaikaranga, Judge’s mum has unique insight into both sides of the coin. “I strongly encourage other carers to take on board advice and guidance shared by Kaikaranga
Reflecting on their journey, Judge’s mum emphasises, “It’s a long path not built from bricks and pavers but of the people and supports you bring into your loved one’s life, your life, and your whanau’s life. This is the foundation for our children’s tomorrow.”
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